I've been noticing a lot more hanging follow requests with/from Lemmy since upgrading to 4.1. It's not consistent, though -- some Lemmy sites continue to process them fine, and some don't. I initially thought it had to do with the Lemmy version, but I'm seeing both behaviours from 0.19.9, so... *shrug*.

@eeeee follows do need to be accepted, although it's configurable. Most software auto accepts, but delays in messaging mean sometimes the requests or responses get lost.

Cancel that follow and try again, and it might be accepted.

You see the settings cog because you're an admin on your instance.

Thanks, I tried unfollowing and following again, but its always the same.
On this instance it says following and my one it says 'cancell follow request' although the pop up box said 'You are now follwing etc'
I wonder is the difference because Im admin. It doesnt make sense why it displays differently

@eeeee there's no difference in follows if you're admin vs non-admin.

Yea, odd, I made a second account on mysite and that follows and unfollows normally.
So its a mystery why my first Admin account is doing it differently.
Maybe one day we will figure out whats altering the behaviour