if you consider yourself to be in kinship with Hexbear bc of the trans connection then in that case I completely understand your response, and just as readily disagree with it. Fwiw, Ada would as well, I am pretty sure?

Ada thinks Hexbear is a trans instance and it's rly rly weird. Any time I talk to those guys I think they're gonna call me a slur

I'm rly glad Hexbear defederated Blahaj because I just don't have the bandwidth to deal with those people most of the time. I always feel unsafe around them as a trans woman, and it's not just the mansplaining and the pig poop balls

I always feel unsafe around them as a trans woman

can you elaborate, because as a trans woman I've not felt unsafe at all.

Any time I said something they disagreed with on a shared community, I got dogpiled with "um, ackshually" style responses or even called a CIA agent. It felt like a hostile and unforgiving place, where I had to measure up to their standards or I'd just be punished. It was easy to feel like I'd be called a slur if I said something about my experiences as a woman they didn't like. I stayed quiet about that sort of stuff when I saw them in a thread because I didn't feel like I could be open, I stuck to things that were less personal to me.

Any time I said something they disagreed with on a shared community, I got dogpiled with "um, ackshually" style responses or even called a CIA agent. It felt like a hostile and unforgiving place, where I had to measure up to their standards or I'd just be punished. It was easy to feel like I'd be called a slur if I said something about my experiences as a woman they didn't like. I stayed quiet about that sort of stuff when I saw them in a thread because I didn't feel like I could be open, I stuck to things that were less personal to me.

sounds like the problem wasn't with the fact you are a trans woman but rather that you have reactionary beliefs that were challenged

lemmy.blahaj.zone defederated from hexbear over a year ago so what shared space?

On Blahaj and 196 - Hexbear

Due to multiple factors, such as unaddressed ableist removals [https://hexbear.net/pictrs/image/3df0e4c7-bb64-4c00-bbdb-5c753018895c.jpeg?format=webp] from the /c/196 moderators, defense of chasers [https://hexbear.net/pictrs/image/97e9abd7-e8be-499e-8db7-7a7d5d1e2762.webp], no-quarter rules regarding our users [https://hexbear.net/pictrs/image/8dc37487-d36b-4a55-9519-c3f8bb4fcae6.png], leakage of good-faith DMs from our admin team [https://hexbear.net/post/361826], and a general lack of initiative to punish these behaviors, we have come to the conclusion that the 196 community on lemmy.blahaj.zone has made the fediverse an unsafe space for our queer, disabled, neurodivergent, non-western, and other marginalized comrades on this forum, and we will be defederating from lemmy.blahaj.zone until we can be confident that this will not continue to be an issue. We have attempted to make good-faith parley with both the instance admin and the comm moderators, but we've reached a point which we feel that until these behaviors are addressed by instance administration, we can no longer continue to federate in good-faith while our users are being actively invalidated by a small-but-vocal portion of the forum. Once we are confident that these behaviors have ceased and are unlikely to continue, we are more-than-happy to refederate in the name of queer solidarity. Thanks for bearing with us :07:

(hexbear.net)

moss the same person who fucked the first 196 community here is the same person that fucked the relations between hexbear and blahaj

it really sucks that the largest trans communities aren't federated.

I really resent the cis people showing up to spread obvious lies. it was hexbear that first defedded blahaj because of the toxic behavior primarily from the 196 mods.

Looking at instances such as Hexbear and lemmygrad.ml... are they wrong though? And many other instances have given Hexbear a platform to promote and host i.e. spread their content across the wide Fediverse.

We are a tankie bar, plain and simple. Yes you can block it, but most instances have not historically gone very far in that regard, from the perspective of a new Reddit refugee, e.g. a centrist, religious, American who may not like what is going on but also is put off by calls for things such as outright murder.

If we want to expand, we need to get better at labeling the spaces so as to make people with a wider (aka more diverse) set of backgrounds comfortable here. We won't though, instead preferring to simply claim that everything that "in-group" says is correct (and often not allowed to be questioned, though mod & admin tolerances varies wildly) and everything that "out-group" says is 100% wrong and everyone is "stupid" for believing such.

Any time I said something they disagreed with on a shared community, I got dogpiled with "um, ackshually" style responses or even called a CIA agent. It felt like a hostile and unforgiving place, where I had to measure up to their standards or I'd just be punished. It was easy to feel like I'd be called a slur if I said something about my experiences as a woman they didn't like. I stayed quiet about that sort of stuff when I saw them in a thread because I didn't feel like I could be open, I stuck to things that were less personal to me.